5 Overlooked Signs Your Child Is Struggling With Transitions (And What Parents Often Miss)

Hi, I’m Jade Ashman, the founder of My Childcare and Me and The Parent Club—but before that, I’m a mum. And like you, I know what it feels like to want the absolute best for your child—to want them to thrive, feel confident, and be truly understood.

One of the most common challenges we see in early years settings is not “bad behaviour”, but difficulty with transitions—moving from one activity to another, leaving the house, bedtime, or even small shifts like tidying up toys. Research from the Early Intervention Foundation highlights that difficulties with emotional regulation and transitions in early childhood can significantly impact learning, behaviour, and long-term wellbeing if not supported early.

Here are five overlooked signs that your child may be struggling more than it looks on the surface.

1. “Silly” behaviour right before a change

What looks like distraction or naughtiness is often anxiety in disguise. We often see children suddenly becoming loud, silly, or hyperactive just before tidy-up time or leaving the room.

Real-life example: A child in our setting consistently started running around and laughing uncontrollably before outdoor play ended. Once we introduced a 5-minute visual countdown timer, the behaviour reduced significantly.

Try this: Use visual timers or “first/then” boards to prepare the brain for change.

2. Meltdowns over small, predictable transitions

If your child regularly has big emotional reactions to everyday changes—leaving the park, switching off the TV, getting dressed—it may signal difficulty processing change, not defiance.

The NHS notes that young children often lack the neurological maturity to regulate emotions during transitions, particularly under stress.

Try this: Narrate the day clearly: “After breakfast, we will get dressed, then go to nursery.”

3. Becoming “stuck” or frozen

Some children don’t explode—they shut down. They may stop responding, ignore instructions, or appear “in their own world”.

We often see this in children who are overwhelmed by too many instructions or rushed transitions.

Try this: Reduce language. One instruction at a time works better than multi-step directions.

4. Repetitive questioning or seeking reassurance

“Are we going now?” “What’s next?” repeated over and over is often anxiety around unpredictability rather than curiosity.

Try this: Create a simple visual routine chart they can physically point to throughout the day. This builds security and independence.

5. Delayed reactions after the transition

Sometimes the struggle doesn’t happen during the change—but after. Emotional release, clinginess, or irritability later in the day can be a sign they were holding it together earlier.

Try this: Offer a “reset moment” after transitions—snack, cuddle, or quiet time.

Transitions are one of the most underestimated parts of early childhood development. At My Childcare & Me, we see daily how small environmental adjustments—visuals, warnings, consistency—can completely change a child’s experience.

If this sounds familiar, you are always welcome to come and see how we support children in practice.

👉 Learn more about our approach at https://www.myandme.co.uk/ 

Because when children feel prepared, they don’t just cope with change—they grow through it.